will the self loathing ever end?
why does it feel that, no matter where i go, no matter what i do, no matter what situation i am in, im the third wheel?
no use
no function
just, useless
bp
hold my breath and count to 10 and hope i'll never breath again
i love airports
This goes out…
…to all the white guys learning Japanese just to get with Japanese girls
…to any education system that neglects its obligation to teach about other nations
…to all those who think Chinese Japanese and Korean are all the same
…to you, you, you, you, you…us, them, who?
I speak Japanese when I’m saying something bad about you
That’s right—everything you suspected is true
Raw fish was just a joke just to see if you’d eat it
And you get all-you-can-eat ‘cause we succeeded
Small part of our revenge for those who got sent to detention camps
Citizens born and raised on somebody’s “home and native land”
This supposedly multicultural international tapestry
Just a great white northern fallacy
Some have the audacity to say “don’t take the history personally”
But don’t you see? Back in the 40s they’da taken my life from me
Sign of continuing times when it still bears saying
That Japanese-Canadian is still Canadian
So don’t ask me why I don’t have an accent
Why don’t you have an accent? We all got accents
From small towns to cities shore to shore
This country is as much not mine as it is not yours
Just listen to the soundscape—I catch Japanese all the time on the streets
And we’re not just tourists here for the week
The Asiatic is more than a design element for your tattoos
It’s relevant to you
This goes out…
…to all the people who believe that Japanese girls are all yellow cabs
…to all the Japanese girls who give people reason to believe that they’re all yellow cabs
…to all the girls who think Japanese guys aren’t good enough…I’m not bitter…
…to you, you, you, you, you…me, us, them, who?
Knock knock, who’s there? Elections Canada
Here to make sure that every eligible voter is registered
This lady looked at me then looked past me and asked me
“Any of your roommates Canadian?”
What about me?
The hypocrisy of descendants of immigrants
Complaining about immigrants in the national element
As if the coolies aren’t the ones to hammer the last spikes
Out of sight, out of mind, outside of being white
It’s color-coded and not because I wrote it
I’m just making it easy for those who can’t see me as a regular human being
I’m just an exotic attraction
A monkey up on stage rapping
I’m not a man, just a body of evidence
My presence proof-positive of Canada’s worldly benevolence
An Asian face to go on your pamphlet covers
Next to a black guy, a brown girl and some other Others
The truth is undercover—we are not as advertised
And it’s not just the tourists who believe the lies
My civics lesson is based upon my cynical aggression
It’s not social, it’s personal shit that I’m addressing
This goes out
…to Tom Cruise for being the last samurai
…to David Suzuki for being one of CBC’s top ten greatest Canadians
…to those who wanna discriminate against me but use the wrong stereotypes
…to you, you, you, you, you…us, them, who?
…to all the pioneers who faced racism and stood their ground
…to those who think that the existence of minorities is something to be tolerated
…to the oppressors and to the oppressed who can sometimes be one and the same
…to the yellow the white the brown the black the full the mixed the half
The Ubyssey Online
-UBC Newspaper since 1918
Feeling damn emo as i write this at 0615 Saturday...and no, i have not slept yet, been starting to pack and listening to: Sa Rang Hae Yo, 只对你说 by LJJ over and over and over and over again.
Dunno what to say la....damn sad about leaving sg....like, feels damn weird to say goodbye so much...like some tourist, when i know sg better than darren (besides for bar locations near and in the CBD). Zhuang Shu Tian Shi by Tank just came on. The music is agreeing with my mood sia...
You guys have been so "accomodating" over the past 3+ weeks...i bet that da ge don't go out that much normally...lol... I DON'T spend alot of money when we go out together...lol it just seems that way, cos i volunteer to pay first...
I don't think i'll be joining you guys for dinner, BUT, i'll provide some drinks, if i can get them to ED. Maybe i'll drop by at 3-5 am and say hello before going home to take my bags to the airport and che zhao chan with you guys...if too shagged to come dun tax urself on my behalf and then die at the airport...i dun wan to have to kill myself for causing one of ur deaths (ask ed why)...
If i die...and only If i die for some reason or another, in addition to the will on my blog, you guys get my stuff...lol
WISH LIST
Mates: (c) bp 2004
Profile
bp
02021989
17
Anglo Chinese School (Barker Road)
University of British Columbia (Okanagan)
-learn to play guitar (well)
-be a good boy
-find God's calling for me
-Survive in Canada
-My own Guitar
-Fender Stratocaster
-Learn to drive
-Learn to snowboard and ski
-Get a dog
-Library of Bibles
-Go to Australia for my post graduate studies by getting a scholarship from the singapore government...ahahah
-Go back to singapore for christmas
BAng,
DavidWong,
Deschew,
,
Howard,
James,
Joezer,
Justin,
Mei,
Melody,
NaiDu,
Shaun,
Sianghui,
Spenser,
Zee,
Bible,
[SF],
Mr Miyagi,
Mr Brown,
Little Cart Noodles ,
Tomorrow.sg ,
Razer Pro|Solutions™
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
October 2005
December 2005
January 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
July 2007
August 2007
November 2007
April 2010
December 2014
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